I assume you're just joking around, but since I love two strokes for their simplicity and power to weight/cc ratio it got my wheels turning.
I suppose it could be done if you could cut holes in the sides of the cylinder walls for intake and exhaust. You would have endless obstacles, i.e. water jackets, lifter valley, etc. Come to think of it, how would you lubricate the crank? All of the V-6 two strokes I have ever worked on, (marine outboards, Mercury, Mariner, OMC/Bombardier, Yamaha), all have the intake on top of the crankshaft. In other words, the fuel/oil mix passes over the crank before it reaches the combustion chamber to lubricate the rod and main bearings, (both roller bearings).
I suppose you could still lubricate via the stock oil pump.
Suppose you cut, ground, and welded intake and exhaust ports in this motor. Where do you put the ports relative to the deck? This is how two-strokes do without a camshaft. The figuring out of piston timing, port location, and timing events are more than I can get my head around while typing this.
Your heads would have no valves. They would be more or less a spark plug holder and a place for coolant to circulate.
The intake would go through the lifter valley or along the outside of the block and enter the side wall of each cylinder.
The exhaust would do the opposite of whatever the intake did.
So good luck. I'm sure I missed a bunch, but these are my initial thoughts as I have done a good bit of work to V6 two strokes that were originally two strokes. Those V6's had anywhere from 150 to 330 horsepower and 2.0 to 2.5 liters.